Monday, May 18, 2009

Sweat it out

It appears I have a blocked sweat gland under my arm. And when I say appears I mean it's totally obvious seeing as how it's the size of a fucking olive. It hurts and I can hardly put my arm down at my side. You see how this shit works? I'm finally exercising, hence sweating a lot, aannndd BOOM. Big ol' lump under my arm. I'll bet my sweat glands were saying something like, "We're being used, girls! Holy shit!! PUMP IT!!!"


"God dammit, now I'm constipated. Did she have to try and run those last five minutes? Bitch is gonna cave in and eat pancakes for breakfast anyway. The whore."


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